2 Samuel Series #4

ďDavidís FamilyĒ ó 2 Samuel 13

i.†† introduction

A.Heroes Of The Bible

1.     The heroes of he Bible often rise to such lofty heights of spiritual success that we may despair of ever being like them

2.     We read of Noah spending 100 years to build an ark

a.      all because God told him He would flood the earth

b.     this, when it had never rained before

c.      100 years of enduring the ridicule and scorn of his neighbors!

3.     Or we read of Abraham

a.      how he packed up his family and moved from his home in Ur and began a long journey to a land he had never seen

b.     all because God had told him to

4.     We think of Moses who called down the plagues on Egypt, who parted the Red Sea, and who provided food for Israel in the wilderness

5.     We are reminded of Peter in the NT who walked on water, or who raised a woman from the dead [1]

6.     And of course there is young David, standing before Goliath on the field of battle

7.     We read these stories and while they are meant to encourage us and give us an example of the life of faith, when we see these heroes of faith rise to such lofty heights, rather than inspire, we compare ourselves and our experience to them and come away discouraged

8.     That is why the Bible chronicles not only their successes but their failures

9.     Sure they rose to lofty heights, but look how low they fell

a.      Noah got drunk after the flood

b.     Abraham lied about his wife, not once but twice

c.      Moses badly misrepresented God

d.     sure Peter walked on water, but he also sank; and he was also the one who seemed to have the biggest problem with foot in mouth disease

e.      and when you think of royal blunders - no one takes the cake like David

f.       his sin was Bathsheba was an all time winner

10. The long term lesson all these stories teach us is that the Bible is not a story book about great men and their sterling faith

11. The message of the Bible is not to impart virtuous examples to inspire us to live more better lives

12. The point God is trying to get across to us is that itís all about His grace

13. The reason people appear great or heroic in scripture is not because they were better than others

14. Their greatness lies in the fact that for a moment, they came to realize just how good God was and wanted to bless them

15. And there is no one in scripture who more clearly presents Godís grace than David


1.     The message today is a simple one

2.     We are going to take a look at Davidís family and see what we can learn from it

3.     Truly friends, while David was a mighty man of faith and a man after Godís own heart, he was a sorry husband and father

4.     And his family life has a lot to teach us about what it means to walk with God in the details of life



1.     We looked at this passage last week, but skipped these verses

2.     Want to take a look at it today

3.     Nathan has come to David to confront him about his sin with Bathsheba

4.     He delivers the word of God to David how because of his moral failure, he has opened a door of turmoil and trouble in his home that will eventually devastate his family

5.     God told David . . .

{10} ĎNow therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.í

{11} ďThus says the LORD: ĎBehold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun.Ē

6.     As we saw last week, the things God pronounces here are not Godís judgment on Davidís sin

a.†† God didnít bring them about as a way to get back at David

b.     rather, what we see here is God speaking prophetically to David about what would happen as a consequences to his sin with Bathsheba

7.     You see, David already possessed numerous wives, 7 at least, probably more

a.      he also had several concubines

b.     from these numerous wives and concubines he had had many children

c.      when David took Bathsheba and then had her husband Uriah murdered,

d.     it added fuel to the fire of trouble in Davidís family

8.     You know, we need to get the Hollywood image of the happy harem out of our thinking

a.      the movies love to present the oriental harem as a place filled with lovely young ladies,

b.     who have nothing better to do than to sit around all day,

c.      dressed in flowing chiffon wraps

d.     eating luscious and exotic fruit from baskets scattered around the room

e.      and the whole time they are giggling and whispering to each other

f.       then they rise spontaneously and dance some sensuous dance

9.     A harem was not place of such blissful harmony

10. It was a place of tension and turmoil

a.      each of the women in a harem vied with the others for their husbandís affection and attention

b.     each was constantly trying to outdo each other

c.      there was constant friction and fighting between them

d.     not only over their own position in the harem,

e.      but also as they tried to make sure their children would be the ones to occupy their husbandís attention and promotion

11.Things were no different around Davidís home

a.      he had many wives and many children

b.     and they vied with each other for Davidís attention

c.      when he showed favor to one, the others would be jealous

12. And inevitably, as the tension grew in Davidís family, much of the anger and bitterness would begin to flow towards him for subjecting them all to this kind of a family life

13. Thus it was that when he pursued Bathsheba, it was the proverbial straw that broke the camelís back in Davidís home

14. From this point on, just as the stresses that build up in the earth are eventually released in the rupture of an earthquake, the stresses that had been building up in Davidís family would erupt in his family turning on each other and David himself

B.Amnon, Tamar, and Absalom

1.     Ch. 13 tells the story of one of Davidís sons named Amnon, who raped his half sister Tamar

2.     When Tamarís brother Absalom found out, he set a trap for Amnon and killed him

3.     But then Absalom had to flee for fear of what his father David might do to him

4.     Through these sorry events, we read that David did nothing

5.     He was angry, sure; but he did nothing!

6.     After all, what Amnon did in raping Tamar was little different from what David had done in taking Bathsheba

7.     And what Absalom did in killing Amnon was little different from what David had done in murdering Uriah

8.     David thought his hands were tied - how could he rebuke his children when he himself had failed so miserably in these same sins?

C.Lessons From Davidís Family

1.     This is the point I want to focus on today

2.     In the early history of Davidís life we read great stories of his faith

3.     We read that he was a man after Godís own heart

4.     We read the Psalms he wrote during this time of how his chief desire was to dwell in Godís presence

5.     We see him killing giants and gaining mighty victories over the enemies of God

6.     He was a man of great faith and a sterling reputation

7.     But the later days of Davidís life are glaringly empty of the triumphs of those early years

a.      no more is he called a man after Godís own heart

b.     no more does he slay giants

c.      others now fight Israelís battles while he stays at home

8.     What is it that happened to David that saw this decline in his greatness?

9.     I think the answer is found by looking at his home life

10. Very simply, David never translated his relationship with God into action in his home

11. It was as though he thought he could maintain his intimacy with God while neglecting the responsibilities of being a husband and father

12. God always intended marriage to be between one man and one woman for life

a.      heaven knows itís hard enough to be married to one person

b.     itís hard enough to try to be the husband to one wife

c.      in fact, God intends it to be a full time job

13. David never took this calling seriously

14. He set a pattern of taking whatever attractive woman he saw

15. There was simply so way he could properly husband his wives

16. And there was no way he could properly parent all their children

17. In fact, it seems that David neglected his wives and his children

18. It appears that he thought they existed for his pleasure

19. May I say that I have seen this repeated in many Christian homes

a.      not polygamy, thank God

b.     but what I see repeated is the failure of a husband or wife to translate their relationship with God into their family life

c.      they never put into action in their home their love and devotion toward God

d.     I have seen many cases of men who attend church religiously

1)     they know and study their bible

2)     they pray

3)     they worship

4)     they participate in almost every church activity

e.      but they are neglecting their wives and kids

f.       and there are some ladies who are doing the same

20. I am not saying that these men and women should stop being so devoted to the Lord in fellowship and study and worship

21. What I am saying is that they need to be diligent to take care of the home and their family and to see it as their primary obligation and responsibility

22. The family is the first relationship of priority in a Christianís life

23. In 1 Cor. 7 Paul says, ďHe who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord; how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world; how he may please his wife.Ē

a.      this passage is often used to instruct single people on how they have a greater opportunity to serve than a married person

b.     but letís note what Paul says about the married person

c.      he says that the married man is concerned with pleasing his wife

d.     Paul isnít saying that the married man is distracted from serving the Lord

e.      heís revealing that the married manís primary calling in serving the Lord is to serve his wife

f.       while the single person has greater freedom to serve the Lord in other capacities

24. In other words, as we live out our commitment to Christ, the primary relationship of nurture and care for the married believer is our mate

25. Marriage and the home are the proving ground of our relationship with the Lord

26. Just as John says in his first letter; our love of God is proven by our love of our fellow man ó

27. So our intimacy with God is revealed by our devotion and dedication to our family

28. A heart turned toward God is a life turned toward home

29. That is why Paul says that elders in the church are to be selected from men whose homes are in good order

30. James says that if faith isnít translated into action, it isnít real faith

31. If our homes are not different because of our relationship with Christ, something is very wrong with our faith!

iii. conclusion

A.The Abiding Lesson

1.     David began well

2.     As a young single man, he was called a man after Godís own heart

3.     But as David grew, he slowly but surely drifted from the Lord

4.     And as he drifted, he made repeated wrong choices

5.     Some of us began well too

6.     When we first came to Christ our hearts were tender toward God and He used us mightily

7.     We grew spiritually strong in a short period of time and saw some marvelous victories in our walk of faith

8.     But then, after a period of time, we began to drift

9.     And without realizing it, we stopped moving forward with Christ

10. And if we are not moving forward, then without a doubt we are falling back

B.Spiritual Maturity

1.     Spiritual maturity cannot be taken for granted and settled in to

a.      maturity is not some plateau one arrives at and then retires

b.     spiritual maturity is a life long process and struggle

2.†† Growth in Christ cannot be set on autopilot

3.†† David had been a man after Godís heartó

4.†† But in his later years he drifted from the Lord as is evidenced by the fact that he accomplished nothing noteworthy

5.†† His last years were a sorry comedown and a disappointing conclusion to a life that began with such great promise

6.†† Friends, the Main Thing is keeping the Main Thing the Main Thing

7.†† Paul says it this way in Phil 3:7-16, turn there with me . . .

{7)But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ.

{8} Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ

{9} and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;

{10} that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,

{11} if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

{12} Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.

{13} Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,

{14} I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

{15} Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.

{16} Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind.

[1] Dorcas, Acts 9